I'm Moving to France on Tuesday.

The Physical Impossibility of Ian

In the Mind of Someone Living.


'I'm going to show you my Graphics Tablet.'

I need to fall down the stairs.

Last night, I spent many, many hoiurs doing my photography finishing touches. I think I will be okay, and I have given everything in to michelle now. I have this feeling I have forgotten something though. It's rather conspicuous and makes me suddenly feel panic and my eyes hurt. I hope I don't remember JUST as I'm about to sleep because it hurts too much.

When I was going to bed last night, I came across four piles of vomit, some blood and some poo. I am very worried my pussy cat Magic may be quite ill :(. I have never had to clean up a pool of blood like that. I had to cry and I threw up my tea. Poor Magic :(


It feels very good to have my work done and given in, even though I spent about half an hour surrounded by terrible people waiting to buy a ticket for the christmas thing at college. Marcus already has one, so now I can't NOT or he'll look like a total square at a christmas event alone. Poor Marcus :| OR NOT. I will buy one tomorrow when I'm supposed to be in Graphics. It will be easy for me to get out because I have finished all my work :) I hope a very fat lady does shout at us all again because we were lining up in a way we should be. STUPID woman.
I am so hungry.

The Winning Bidder.

I JUST GOT THE BEST FEELING.

I was browsing ebay's selection of 35mm cameras, and I had been talking to my step dad about getting a camera pre-70's on ebay for dirt cheeeeap spends, and look what I stumbled across later on. THIS BAD BOY TO THE LEFT!

I check up on it. The winning bidder is my step dad (L).

'Don't get shitty with me!'

Friday night was my work's christmas event! I was so excited, but I messed up my getting ready time by sitting in Worden Coffee Shop with Marcus! Oh, and he has the cheek to say 'You're dragging me down with you!' Dear, dear Barnett, we'll see what Anne has to say about this kind of sabotage. It was pleasant though :)

So, I had half an hour to get ready. Nicola Young had an issue with her shower and had to run around to mine to get ready. We stared at each other from each end of the stairs shaking our heads for ages. 'We are utter wastemen'. It was the most fun gettin ready quickly though, and we didn't do a bad job by the end :D

By the time we got to the shop,most people were already drunk. Bottles of sambucca, wine, champagne, malibu and things I can't remember were passed around. I don't remember having two drinks the same. This isn't usually what I'd do :(
We got in the taxi, and it was hilarious. So many unflattering photographs were taken and we all had a joke. Good ones (Y).

When we got there, we all got drinks. PINT OF CHEEKY VIMTO £8.80 :| The guy gave us doubles instead of singles, like we asked to be ripped off this way. Give it about half an hour and two people from our group were throwing up in the toilet. We got put on water for two hours and shamed by the staff for being 'too drunk'! They said, if we tried to buy another drink from the bar we would be kicked out! We didn't even get to watch the amazing boyband, Envy. Heartbroken.

So, we ended up leaving some three hours early after a complete sham of a meal! We piled into the cocktail factory where they gave us all free shots and invited us into the VIP area! We saw people getting fully turned away so, it was a nice feeling :). After a million cocktails we went to Wallstreet and Liz fell asleep on the sinks :| Oh liiiiiz! We figured it was hometime as everyone was all danced out and ready for bed.
I made a cheese sandwich when I got home.
I loved it.

Monster Grab XXL

I was told my photographs are 'inspirational' :| I have never been more embarrassed.
I wish I could be nice and say something that wouldn't make the complimenter feel like they have said something wrong!
I am terrible.


Tomorrow, I have that big event! It should be alright you know :) I'm quite excited about it really.
I got a few things developed today, a colour so I couldn't do it myself :( but I got my negatives back this time! Here are a few...


oh P.S Marcus has heartbreaking icons.

Flora Buttery

You aren't foolin' anyone.

Happy people holding hands.

I don't know how to feel about yesterday. It was successful and at the same time an utter failure.

I ended up staying awake until 4am, talking to Marcus, watching various brilliant films and writing about sexual things in my photography book. CRINGE. I had to also note that I am not a fan of sexual content when studying photographers, just so she doesn't judge me to the highest level of pervert.

I found a lovely dress also. I set my heart on it, it was just beautiful. Until I found out it was £120. Who does Kate Moss think she is? Charging that amount, knowing full well scrounging little students like me will want to be able to pay for that dress. NOT LIKELY.
So I ventured elsewhere in the shop of top and found in the nice boutique section upstairs the most perfect dress in the whole wide world. I love it to the highest amount. It's so cute and sweet and little. It's not a slaggy little dress though :|
Anyway, I try the dress on, it's nice and makes me feel like I'm small. I didn't have he money to pay for it on me at the time, so I hid it and went to take the money out. As I came back, I obviously picked up the wrong size and bought it :( When I got home I wanted to show my mum, and I had told her it's jolly and looks lovely. IT SURE DIDN'T. You should have seen her face :( utter disappointment. So now I have the wrong size, and all I want is to be able to put it on and have a cheeky dance around.

All my deadlines :( BAD, BAD, BAD.

Also making me bad is the fact I just sat with my tutor, filled in an application saying I work for the Chorley Guardian to try to get a press pass for the clothes show live. BAD, BAD PERSON.

I really want it to be my birthday, so I can get it all out of the way and live my adult life. How very boring of me, to want the festivities to be over before they have even began. I fear there may be a few hiccups on the night, it's probable and it's not something I'm looking forward to :(.

I'm going to go and hide away in the darkroom for the rest of the day to do cyanotypes. Steph things I have a problem, she was genuinely concerned at work on saturday. It doesn't help that I had cried infront of leanne and helen just a week before. I never cry.

I'm not late, you're lucky.

I'm a little annoyed.

This....'art that offends' essay business- apparently everyone has done tracey emin :( And muggins here is half way through an Emin quilt, painstakingly pricking her fingers as she goes, dragging up terrible memories in desperate need of a heart wrenching quote to sew down only to find out it's probably what about twenty other people are doing too?! I'm angry.
Come to think of it, most people don't know shit about the quilts and blankets and only pay attention to the bed and the tent. So I might be safe.
And again, come to think of it I think everyone will be comparing her with the works of The Chapman brothers and their, as one person put it, 'bad art' Zygotic Acceleration, because they can write more than 100 words about that. GOH. I'm very, very angry.

ALSO, our Richard. Richard Billingham is the other I am comparing:) He's a master, I love him. I don't know of anyone else who is doing Richard, so...Wendy will have something fresh to be mesmorised by. I don't think there's anyone who doesn't walk away with a distinction from our Wendy :)

I want to get back to my oh-so-painful quilt making, because it's charming and not as bad as I made it sound :).



Angry.

Dr. Who now?

I went to the doctor today. I can't pronounce his last name, and I don't mean that in a racially discriminatory way. It's just, every time a person said it I hardly heard it.
He was a very nice man and he put his tools in me. ;);););););)

So, I have some sort of a viral infection, which means no pills or liquids will make me feel better and I will continue to feel bad for the next few days :( I keep throwing up phlegm and little bits of blood. How very, very attractive.

I have to shop quickly for my Christmas event with work! Kerrie called me today, and we'll be merry-making on the 21st of this month! Which does not give me a lot of time at all. Mum says I have to get sparkly shoes also.

I haven't been on facebook for about a week, until today, where I found a friend request from my oh-so-dear-ex. I did not take to it very lightly, considering he was the one who wanted to delete me from his life completely, and now when he's all ready to involve himself with me again, he allows me to knock on his door? No thank you, Adam. I don't think I ever want to see that boy ever again, now knowing how amazing the people who have picked me up are. I don't know if it's a high standards thing, but I don't want to ever concern myself with him again.
I hope he reads this, not as a cheap jab in the ribs, but as a massive fuck off, and stop trying to worm your way in.

Magpies.

Today, there were only around 6 of us partaking in lessons. The whole morning was filled with Darkroom antics with my favourite first year, and then I was left alone. I ate alone, developed alone, spoke alone and sat quietly alone. It was nice :)
I decided to take my alone time elsewhere, so I walked over to Worden. It was just lovely.
I sat with the ducks on the deck whilst I snipped at my prints, I sat on a bench and watched the dogs playing together and spoke to old men about their dogs.
Whilst I was walking there, Nicholas gave me a ring so I was feeling particularly friendly. It was lovely. An hour on the park with myself.

I get to annoy myself mostly. I think about silly things until I'm upset, but recently I have had nothing silly to think about. Or haven't let myself think about those things, so either way my good mood is safe :).

Tonight I am going to write a very striking essay on Richard Billingham and Tracey Emin, and have a brew with Nicholas. It should be warm because the park was very chilly, and I have a fire at home that I can snuggle up in front of.


Last night, in the bath, I spoke to Nicola Young! I am so glad to hear her voice again. She's nothing but a treat! :)




I only ever see the one magpie these days, but I don't feel it's bad luck. He's probably just looking for shiney things.

take only what you need from me.

Today was an amazing, amazing day.
'i'll make you a deal here Kathryn Heatley...' :). Gosh I am very happy with these happenings.

My sister is doing my hair as we speak :|. 'You really suit a ponytail' :|:|:|:|:|. No thank you, slave.

Tomorrow will be my first day back at college and I know I will probably be sad/very happy about it. But after the sham I will go to Nicholas' house and have a brew and a dance.

It was a nice time today. We went to Worden and conquered the maze, had a brew in the cafe and talked about little children and the fact barbie has a friend called Becky who's in a wheelchair. :|:|:|