Citadel Press

Here are some photos of my trip to Manchester with Marcus. The film came out badly, badly, badly :( I am really upset it didn't work as well as it should, but I still paid £16 for it. Never trust Jessops.









You can click on them and they go bigger.

Look at me.

Grandad was very, very charming today. He always is a very nice ol' fellow. But today in particular I noticed a difference. He stood up to greet me, which I don't really like him doing, we hugged and he held my hands and said 'look at those beautiful eyes' I just wanted to cry.
He looked very well and healthy. Oh dear.

I was told my hair appointment is at 3 when it was about 1 o'clock today. Mum (L). So I got a full head, which isn't what I usually do. In the hairdressers, it looked quite nice and I was pleased with it. Out of the hairdressers I look like it has actually gone wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. I hate it. And will have to wear it in a certain way for a long time to try and disguise it. What an embarrassment to myself and everyone who says 'no, no...you should like it! It's very nice!'

Tomorrow it's New Years Eve and I have started drinking now. I expect for tomorrow to be one long day in work, quite drunk. However, Marcus Barnett has just invited me to watch Yes Man, the silly new Jim Carey film. I love Jim Carey and expect this to be like Liar Liar. So...we will have to see what I can sort out if my plan is going to work :|

I am going to get the films developed tomorrow, and I am VERY excited about it :D I have been imagining the frames all day, numerous, numerous fun-time-frames.

I just spell checked and I had none! Except for the 'ol' at the top. I think I have just raised the bar guys, come join me up here.

Vol. 4

Today was better than any Christmas day I have ever had.

Marcus Barnett and I went to Manchester primarily to go to see the Black Panther exhibition we have been meaning to go and see for a while. It was lovely and I learnt alot, which isn't usual. It was a nicely moving exhibition and gives me a better idea of how to screen print effectively too! Although the woman who was interviewing Emory Douglas was insanely blank and not genuine looking in any way. She was also a black woman, so you'd expect her to have more of a passionate input considering the context. She was horrific

We also went to a nice Pizza place that Anne Barnett has been going to for 40 years. It was a delight because we got to sit right next to the window where they made food. It was delightful/awkward. I tried to take a picture of our pizzas being freshly prepared ;) but the cook stuck his THUMBS UP!!!! right in the frame. I bet one of them has been covered up. He was a character though.

I got photographs of Marcus Barnett in various places for the series I am going to call either 'Vol. 4' or 'Marcus Barnett in Various Places' it's a tough one. There were...
Marcus Barnett in..

• Pizza Place
• waterstones
• record shop (although I don't remember this one)
  
• music shop
• old place near music shop
• streets
• train station
• corner house
• various other places.

I imagine it will be a rather lovely set of prints for me to put into a book and give Anne and Steve at his funeral. I'm also going to kill him by the way.

We also discussed names for our Attitude Antlers songs and I can tell you, they're corkers! They're currently in my 'saved messages' and were sent several times to each other over the table. On the subject of our new enterprise, we acquired a ukulele. A spongebob ukulele. It's yellow and has a yellow plectrum too, (I imagine they threw that part in for free). Marcus played it to me for a while when we were stood next to two geese who later flew off to kill a man.

The rest of the day was spent just hanging around really. It was nice. URBAN EXPLORATION!!!!!

I got home to find a letter from the horrible Miss Teen UK people asking me to send in some details after the application form at the clothes show. Mum really wants me to do it, but I don't think it's my scene, nor am I willing to embarrass myself in this way. It makes me feel horrible.

I will post the pictures when I get them developed, hopefully tomorrow.

just gets worse

I just came out of the garage with a glass of coke. The coke is in the garage you see. Mum stopped me, looked me in the eye and asked if I had vodka in it.
Do I look like the kind of person who sneaks vodka into her beverages? I must do.

I'll Tell The Kids

I have had the most tearful day in the entire history of days.

Tomorrow should be better but also could be worse if I get 'the call' from my mum. I hope it's better. I'm going to be wearing a pretty cool jumper ;)

I don't have anything else to say now

Gossip In The Grain

I am spo drunk.
I love being drunki, it's the best feeling. I neer get sad like I usually do.
I just called my favouyrite Marcus Barnett and e had a little chat. Aparent;y he's taking me on an adeventiure around Salford, but not anymore. We'rew going to spend the afternoon in Temple Bar and get wasted. That's ,my plan anyway, even if he's not there ;) hahaha.

Ny Dad was at his best today. I hafd to go to the toiley 4 times in fear of wetting myself. He was SO funny. My dad is usually a fucking good comedian but he was in a ball today. I loved it.

update on 28th- I DELETED THIS PARAGRAPH BECAUSE I'M AN ABSOLUTE WANKER.

Tomorrow I am at worrk sdo I bettert stop on the Rum :) I love being accepted into a normal drinking situation. My brother said 'I like that everyone is in a drinking circumstance now, rather than it being taboo' :D:D:D HYE MEANSME!

Gotta love the brother and the dad

Dad: 'PECKHAM TORNADO!!!!!#'

fucking love.

Yuletide

I drew a picture of a swan and Mel Brooks smoking a cigar for Marcus Barnett. Anne Barnett asked him to stand it up next to the Christmas cards. This is the best thing you will ever find on this blog OR ANY.
Anne Barnett will be loved forever by me. True acceptance is the most heartwarming.
Up there on cloud nine, again!

Monday was my 18th birthday. I loved it. Mum woke me up in the morning by smushing my face and going 'birthday girl, birthday girl!' and pushing you shoulders so I bounced in my bed. It was the best.
I did various things that day that involved family and friends. It was a nice birthday. Went out for cider at noon in the 'local' which was fun. HellyP text me during the day with the word 'quids' indicating that it's quids night at Roper and I should be there.
So Nicola and I met her in Greyfriars, got one of those pitcher things, it was delicious but all I could think about whilst drinking it was 'cranberry juice is good for your wee'.
Steffyleffy didn't show. LET DOWN, so we headed to Revs because Clithy said he had vodka waiting for us :) It was just me he had the vodka waiting for, and it was a rack of shots I had to do by myself. That's 6 shots in the first 10 minutes. We then got champs and cosmos and some more shots. It was really fun. Some guy behind the bar told me I'm Revolution material and I should drop in my CV to get a job there. CASH BACK.
We went to Roper. It was packed and we got marked to get it. I made a big point about how I hated being stained on a night out :|
We had a boogie, some guy utterly bullshitted at me about working at a magazine in Manchester, because when he asked me what I wanted to be I said 'a photojournalist' he asked 'a what?!' and made me explain it. He also asked me if he needed ID to get into an over 21s bar and later said he could get me on the guest list. I was having none of it, so I got away.
We did too many apple sours to mention and cider and something and coke, it could have been rohypnol and coke for all I know!
I fell down the stairs twice and we went home. It was a very nice night, but all the places had closed- Monday.
Least favourite part- Portuguese man following us to a taxi rank and asking Nicola if she wanted the cheek kisses to be more on the lips :|.


Today is Christmas day, but this post is too long for that story.
My sister woke me up with 'i love you...PLEASE DON'T HIT ME!' (L)

Safety Button Pops Up When Original Seal is Broken

Hello,
It's my birthday right now.


I danced for a little bit, but now I'm going to go and sleep.

Coming of Age.

'and once we were decking this lad at water fights so his mum went out and bought him a really ace super soaker from toys r us just so he could win and he got really cocky'
Gotta be Barnett.


Tomorrow is my 18th birthday. I think I am more excited about having a day for myself, rather than the celebration of life.

On Friday, I went to Manchester with Marcus Barnett and Samuel Nicholas. It was our last day of college and I spent approximately 15 minutes in the building. It was a very enjoyable day, despite the dreadful weather and consequently ridiculous appearance on my part.
ATTITUDE ANTLERS.
And our love, 52 loverboi on the terrible train packed full of horrendous women. I hated it, but loved it also. The woman next to us was wild for the jokes the boys were cracking. She probably loved them both.
You'd expect charity workers in shops to be kind and helpful wouldn't you? What do we get? 'IT'S NOT FANCY DRESS YOU KNOW'. Simply trying on the jumpers lady! We decided to all go back upstairs and each wear a jumper. It's the most incredibly comfortable thing imaginable. It's our uniform.
I also found the exact jumper Marcus was wearing on the day and bought it :) That's also very comfortable and I'm going to wear it on days out because it's one of my favourite colours.
It was a funny, funny day :)

Saturday night was my birthday party. It was a success. I was donning the killer heels and lbd. I'm angry that I couldn't find an alternative dress to the lbd, so I was in the same ol' dressypoopoo (but with £38 worth of bracelets).
I was rocking the hostess scene for a while at the beginning. The place started to fill up, which meant I didn't get any drinks for a long time. When I finally go to them a little later on, I realised I wasn't drunk at all and needed to catch up, so I hit the straight martini.

Kev: 'say when....'
*drink overspills*
Kathryn: 'when'.

I was made to make 2 speeches, so I bullet pointed it. No need to hang around.
1. thanks for coming
2. thanks for the kind gifts
3. have a nice night
4. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Bam, bam, bam, bam. They went wild for it. I was also 'set up' and ol uncle john said. Mum screamed at me 'KATHRYN, YOUR FRIENDS WANT YOU!' so I went to find them and I was fired at by about 25 part poppers :|. A few actually hit me they were at that close-range. It was terrifying, and not something I enjoy to happen to me. THANKS MUM AND 'LIFE LONG' FRIENDS. fuck you all.
The night got bigger and louder as it went on, red wine was spilt to the point that we actually have to redecorate the back room. People were throwing up in both toilets (stay strong boys), fellas were picking up the ladies and Andrew Mckinney and Paul Stobbs were playing guitars for us all. Considering some of these goings-on are not usually what I care to involve myself in, I think I enjoyed it quite alot.
The talking was fun and the drinking games were flowing.
I was sad I didn't get to spend more time with our Nicola Young and our Jessica Dally. I'm waiting for you and NEW YEARS EVE FELLERRRRS!

Tomorrow is my big birthday then and I don't know what I should legally do first. I will probably do something ridiculous like hit the casinos or get cocktails before noon. SUUUUURE. :|
I'm excited to pay tax and have to pay for my own dental care. I'm also excited for my dad to stop paying child benefits to my mum.
Just can't wait :|

Paul is my step dad and Hilary is his sister.
She has been dead for six months and we had no idea. I have never felt more of a horrible person.

She has two children, one is two years old and one is five.

Before she died, she had written christmas cards and birthday cards ready to be sent out when she wasn't around. She has been dead since March and we couldn't even go down to see her.


I don't know how to feel.

This is my life now.
I hate my face, I hate photobooth and I hate wasting my time when I could be working :(


By the way, in my one-to-one with michelle, I found out I got a merit and a distinction.

Here is an extract from my evaluation which she described as 'fluent and in-depth'...

He seems to look fluffy and nicely lines, like he's in a soft focus 80's Moggy Chic magazine where all the cats are nicely back combed and doe-eyed. These prints must have been done on a day where I wanted to absolutely fail because they're all horrific! They're so messy and gross, I'm quite ashamed.

What was I/she thinking?

10.00% Discount - 24

This is going to be terrible.


In other news, Christmas tree ball. Which was a funny/horrible time. I enjoyed the company alot, except when I was outside with Marcus, just hangin' around really because the people out there were shocking, and I think we were sat in the rain :|
Overall, weird night. And that's the second ever time I have cried whilst drunk.
I have a list of embarrassing events from just that one night.



I wish I hated tequila. It makes me forget EVERYTHING important and then remember at the most inopportune of times. No other beverage does that to me.

I have added more because I am in a less-bad mood. Although I am very cold and this silly tshirt I am wearing does not help. I wish I didn't wear inappropriate clothes in such climates.
Yesterday I went to Leeds with Babs, Sue and Ma. I love our annual trips to the big cities, we always have nice fun and lots of laughs. This year was a little less enjoyable that usual because I had a problem looming over me all day. Some terrible looking kids-who-wear-glasses-with-no-lenses said 'she's the saddest looking girl I have ever seen' whilst I was in Urban Outfitters. My eyes watered.
It made me not buy anything there when i could have got some pretty fucking good deals. (A bunch of clothes had been reduced to £4.99). I fully missed out, and skulked back to find mum in a different shop.
In the street there was an escapologist and two music men. One was lovely, but he was white and singing bob Marley songs. It didn't sit well with me. The other was singing terrible power ballads outside B Never Too Busy To Be Beautiful. I love music men in the street, but I was disappointed with Leeds. It's an amazing city.
We went to Bibi's at night. I was JUST about to order a cocktail and I remembered my behaviour of Friday night and just ordered water instead. I keep remembering certain events of that night and my heart breaks every time.
At the table, they all embarrassed me because the waiter specifically told me to enjoy my meal like this, 'okay then Miss...enjoy your meal now wont you?' But in an italian accent. He also made me squeese past him to go to the toilet and apparently watched me walk away. I wish Italian men were less pervy, everytime I have been there it has been awkward and I haven't been able to make eye contact.

I have to have a one-to-one with Michelle in a minute and I know my first second year brief was total shit and she's just going to tell me how wank I did and I'm undoubtedly going to cry in the toilets later. Probably Worden Park Coffee Shop actually, that's my hang out these days.


I have also JUST remembered, when I was going into the christmas ball, the bouncers wanted to see my ticket, which I had stored in my rail card but as I was fumbling to get it out he just said 'don't worry I believe you...' and so I showed my ticket to no one. Where is it now though? I really love/hate tequila.

Blue Skies smilin' on me,

Nothin' but blue skies do I see.

Wednesday was the clothes show. It was great because right at the beginning we asked about 4 people where we go to pick up our press passes and three of them directed us the wrong way :|. So in the press suite the nice woman asked us if we were media, but we were photographers and needed photographer passes to get us in 'the pit'. We hung around there for a while and clipped our passes to our skirts, shirts and dresses :).
I bought a dress, but I did that thing again where I picked up the wrong size, so...amendments will have to be made if I want to wear it at my expressing-amusement-and-merriment-evening. It's really pretty though :) It is a pretty baby pink with a grey bit at the top which has funny flaps. I would suggest people 'ruffle my feathery flaps' but it's where my boobies are :(.
The woman had suggested we go back to the suite before we went into the show so we can all go down as a big working-for-newspaper group and get in through special side doors after flashing our passes at the security!

When we were sat down, resting our sorry bones a woman came over and handed me a badge that read 'I've been scouted!'. She suggested we go to her stall and see what it's all about. It was a beauty pageant :|
Kathryn Heatley, Miss Teen UK.
It certainly doesn't suit. I'm not expecting any calls soon, so we're on safe grounds m8.

It was my brother's birthday on Wednesday also. Pete's big 2-0. The electricity had gone out early that morning (Which meant I got ready IN THE DARK)...it was off ALL day and meant that Pete had to go elsewhere if he wanted to enjoy what was left of hos day :( So he went to Pip's. I was really sad I didn't get to chat with him. I text him during the day to say Happy Birthday and throw yourself down the stairs. He replied saying he's going to strangle me with the belt I bought him. (L) I love my brother.
He's wearing the belt right now ;) he loves it man.

I haven't checked the pictures yet, I imagine there will be some keepers and some 'OMG NO LAD' ones. I will show when I have done a bit to them.
When I was down in 'the pit' taking photographs, many half-naked men threw themselves off the stage and one actually almost hit me. They were so incredibly ripped that if one was to hit me, I would have been totally squashed :(. Dangerous life this photographer business! I didn't like the bodies-on-show, I was embarrassed to take a photograph. The models were brilliant though, looking right at the camera and stopping to wait for the flash. I felt like their friend.

Tomorrow night is the Christmas tree ball. I imagine the place will be filled with hard-faced chumps.
I'm pretty sure I hate everything about my life.

The Physical Impossibility of Ian

Ian- 'Come on James, bang one out.'

James- 'Okay, if you give me a magazine. I might get it all over people though.'

I'm in Graphics because it makes me feel cool.

Jem Southam was a let down, Pop-Up exhibition was somewhat of a let down, The Lowry in general is a no-go, but A Long Exposure was fucking incredible. For a long time I have been flicking between the ideas of portraiture and documentary/photojournalism, and seeing this exhibition has pretty much made my mind up.
Kathryn Heatley- Photojournalist.

Tomorrow, I am going to help Sam with his developing. Get me back in that sweet, sweet red light darkroom. I miss the alone-time. I am so intolerant now, it hurts. I can't wait to get all the chemicals on me. :|......SAD FREAK.

P.S

I think I am sad most of the time now.

No place for boys like you.

Friday night was nice/manic. I went to my old highschool to shoot the fashion show. It was nice really, I got back stage and even got to run around the stage taking photographs quickly. I didn't expect the girls to be quite as stunning. I remember my year being particularly mongy, but pretty much all of the girls in the show had something incredibly beautiful about them. It was a nice and successful evening. This also gave me the chance to talk to my ol' favourite, Mr Garlington. Who is truely the apple of my eye.

Saturday I went to work like I usually do, but I didn't realise I would have the piss taken out of me so much. My boss and various other people left for a two hour break, whilst about four of us (three really, considering one person did FUCK ALL) worked in the most frenzied way at the peak time of the day. There was a constant flow of customers and almost constantly a line through the shop, which kept me from 9 until 3 o'clock when I finally got my break. I had been working since 8:30am.
I hate moaning about work because some people don't have jobs, and mine is usually quite nice so I tend to keep quiet when something bothers me, but this is simply the most ridiculous example of bad management. When I asked to go on my break (which I wouldn't normally do) at 3 o'clock, my boss was so blase and carefree that she had just abandoned us for two hours said 'yeah sure...go for it'. So I fucking did.

At the night time, it was quite nice, but very cold. I was featured in a film which had me out in the streets of Leyland pointing at circular road signs and specifying how mince pie-like they were. At 9:45pm, we had to leave the 24hr Tesco because they were closing at 10pm. WHAT?

Tomorrow I am going to Manchester, to visit the Lowry with the lovely ladies of my course. I am going to go and see A Long Exposure: 100 Years of Guardian Photography and the Pop-Up- Around The World exhibitions. The latter, I'm not expecting much of. But the photography exibiton, I hope will blow me away. I'll take my ol' pal, the pentax along. There is also an exhibition by Jem Southam on, which I wouldn't mind seeing. I'm unsure if they would let me see it though. I will have to use my awesome stealth to worm my way in.

I'm worried I'm becoming haggared.

Michelle called the local newspapers (when I say local, I mean every newspaper up to Bolton) to ask them if they would consider taking our photographs and using them in the paper, they said email them and they would choose! How fun. She also called the clothes show people to ask them if by saying we worked for a newspaper was fraudulent, considering we're students and acted as someone else. They said just bring a passport and a copy of the letter they sent us each, and they would give us our Press Passes! I hope they hang around your neck so we can look important and people would think we're close with Alexander McQueen and Giles. Cheap thrills.



I do wish my life was more exciting.
And I wish I was drunk more often so I have better stories to tell.
Here are a few from the fashion show...

The Tom Jones of the art world.

I hate watching people flirt. It's disgusting and all full of sexual intent. I don't like where I can see it going.




Another classic quote from the physical impossibility of Ian in the mind of someone living,
'Sean Bean? Who the HECK is Sean Bean?....Sean Flippin' Bean....' Said in utter disgust. (L)



I also need to add that Ian just did an impression of In the Night Garden and said 'brap brap and all that'. He also said that ALL teenagers kill people. (L)

'You didn't think she'd come back the same little girl, did you?'

I did, actually.

On Sunday morning, my Mum nearly choked to death. I have never seen anyone cry like she was crying. It was the worst morning I have ever had.

On sunday evening, Sarah came home from Castle Rigg! She was wearing make up and nail varnish. Now, my sister isn't the kind to be wearing make up or nailvarnish. She's quite the little tom boy, but after spending two nights in a room full of girls, she's completely changed. The first words she said to me were 'can I borrow your mascara' and 'some of the people in my room kissed'. She's twelve years old.
I love my sister, she's absolutely amazing, but she didn't crack a joke at all, nor did she smile at me. I don't think I like her new attitude. I told her that make up doesn't make her untouchable, so she should quit with the lip before she gets herself into trouble and she said 'shut your big gob' and walked away. :(
I hate this.

I'm not looking forward to the upcoming two weeks. I imagine it will be stressful to say the least. I have so many things to do, all of which involve being very nice to people.
However, this wednesday, Michelle is arranging for us to go to a Primary School and help the childen do some torchlight photographs! I think this will be the most exciting part of the week.

I do like that it's the 1st December today, which means in about 12 days, it will be acceptable for me to drink everyday until I don't want to anymore. I think it'll be quite nice.

Oh, Michelle is about to read us a fairtale, 'would you be offended if I read you this story book?'. I was never read stories as a child though, so I cannot wait. The Little Fir Tree illustrated by Marcel Ismand.